Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
