There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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