she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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