Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
