No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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