How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
