You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
