Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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