Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
