I think I am morally bankrupt
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
