Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
