since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
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