But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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