Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize