The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
wow bdsm is so cute
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
