Whats the glycemic index on semen?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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