Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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