What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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