i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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