Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
my liver is dry heaving
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
