The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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