It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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