he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize