i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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