I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
