is your mom at the bar?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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