Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
