just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
