North Korea, Best Korea!
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
