It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
What drink are we having for lunch?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize