Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
