O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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