Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Randomize
