So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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