it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
