absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
