i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
