were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
