To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
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