Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
