He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
