ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
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