he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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