She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
