I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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