so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
