Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i think i have two assholes
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize