There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
