Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
