The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
