So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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