are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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