she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
