at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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