chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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