My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
