Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
