I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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