I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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