Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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