I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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