going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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