My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
