She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
