I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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