Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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