i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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