i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
