dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
