mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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