Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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