i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
