I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
